we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize