what day is it and did you see me today?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
