I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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