Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
