Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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