We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
