that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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