THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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