that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
