Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize