You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
