And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
