I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
