chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
