I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
