love makes seman taste better
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
