I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
