.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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