Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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