Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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