I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
