i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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