i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
