The maid of honor just puked.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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