Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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