Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
