I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
