You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
