sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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