Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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