is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
