I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
