She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
