I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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