If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
