I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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