I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
