He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize