My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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