My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
