love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
