I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
