I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
