I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
