living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
