i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
