only if we run a train.
done.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
