I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize