Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
