I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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