It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
