Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
