maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
