ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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