She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
